


Help Me Hold On

by NaleyForever2020



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:46:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27875546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NaleyForever2020/pseuds/NaleyForever2020
Summary: Set just after Vanessa broke up with Charity in recent episodes when something bad happens will Vanessa be able to save Charity
Relationships: Charity Dingle/Vanessa Woodfield
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is also on fanfiction net new to AO3

** Prologue **

Charity truly thought she's lost everything she couldn't believe how stupid she's been how could she have thought Vanessa didn't want to be with her. Then she had to go and do what she always does and mess things up the kiss with that guy meant nothing it was stupid lax in judgment and she's lost it all Vanessa was never going to forgive her now.

As much as Vanessa was hurting right now she really missed Charity she just wished none of this stuff was happening she couldn't believe it when Tracy sent her the picture how could Charity do that to her, how could she cheat not after everything they've been through. She wanted to believe her when she said it meant nothing but it always means something. Vanessa knew she couldn't stay at her mums all the time so she's looked into renting a place big enough for all the kids to stay if they wanted too, she didn't want Noah and Moses to feel like they don't matter she loves them like they're her own.

** Chapter 1 **

After her row with Tracy Charity tried again to speak to Vanessa but yet again it went to voice mail she thought about hanging up as Vanessa never picks up but yet again she couldn't she had to tell her how she felt.

"Ness please talk to me I'm going out of my mind here, I love you, I love you so much it hurts, why did you take Johnny from me I love that boy I can't lose my son too. I know I hurt you it kills me the pain I've put you through, Tracy's right I was never good enough for you, you deserve someone better than me. I've been a screw up my whole life. I finally find someone who truly loves me and is there for me, someone I love more than anything in the world and I go and do what I always do and screw it up please I love you I can't live without you" Charity cried into the phone then everything just went black.

"Tracy call an ambulance" Rhona yelled from the window.

"What why" Tracy asked as she placed the tea on the counter.

"It’s Charity" Rhona yelled as she ran out of the house.

"What she done now passed out drunk again this isn't our mess not after what she done to my sister" Tracy yelled after Rhona.

"Tracy come on its bad they just mowed her down" Rhona yelled as she ran towards Charity lying there in the middle of the road.

As much as Tracy hated Charity at this moment she never wanted her to die her family needed her, she felt bad for the way things were right now. Everything was such a blur and before she knew it the ambulance had come to look after Charity.

"Tracy, Tracy we have to call Vanessa it's bad it’s really bad she could die" Rhona yelled trying to get Tracy's attention.

"We I can't, I can't do this" Tracy cried this was all too much.

"Tracy come on we have to if Charity dies and we don't tell Vanessa she'll never forgive us. As much as Ness is hurting right now she loves that women and it will wreck her if something happens, she needs Charity, if you won't call her I will" Rhona said as she took out her phone she knew Vanessa would never forgive them if they kept this from her.

"Ok, ok I'll call her" Tracy said as she turned to go back into the house all this stress wasn't good for the baby.

Vanessa thought about listening to the voicemail but she couldn't she hasn't been able to listen to any of them. It just hurts so much it broke her turning away from Charity. She's never experienced pain like this it’s like her life has come crashing down.

"Hi Tracy what's the matter" Vanessa asked as she answered her phone, she thought about letting it go to voice mail, but it was quite late there had to be a reason she was calling.

"Vee it's, it's Charity, it's bad its really bad" Tracy cried this was so hard how could things have got this far.

"What's happened to Charity" Vanessa knew it was serious in the tone of Tracy's voice.

"Charity got hit by a car Rhona saw the whole thing, it looked bad vee you need to come" Tracy cried Rhona was right they had to tell her she had a right to know she was going to spend the rest of her life with Charity she needed to know.

"I'm on my way" Vanessa cried her mum would watch Johnny Charity needed her.

When Vanessa got to the hospital Tracy and Rhona were there she ran over and hugged them. The whole way here she listened to Charity's voicemails she heard how broke the love of her life was, and now she could die thinking she hated her.

"Vee they won't tell us anything" Tracy cried as she hugged her sister.

"It’s ok I'm going to go and find out" Vanessa said as she sat Tracy down none of this was good for the baby.

"Is the family of Charity Dingle here" Dr Michaels asked as he came into the waiting area.

"I'm her fiancée Vanessa, is she ok" Vanessa cried she couldn't lose her she just couldn't.

"The car impacted the right side of her body breaking some ribs and her leg, where she landed she hit her head and it's caused a lot of swelling on her brain, we've had to put her in an induced coma. I must warn you it's not looking good the next 48 hours are critical it might be a good idea to let all the family know" Dr Michaels said as he left to attended to other patients.

"This is all my fault I should have just come home" Vanessa cried as she broke down.

"Ness this isn't your fault, Charity wouldn't want you blaming yourself, it was an accident" Rhona said as she held her best friend.

"It's my fault I shouldn't have stuck my nose in. Yes Charity messed up, but I could see how broken she was I never should have sent you the picture. I should have spoken to Charity and found out what was going on please forgive me vee" Tracy cried she knew Charity was struggling with her mental health it didn't make sense that she would kiss that guy, none of this made any sense.

"It’s not your fault trace, I should have spoken to her it just hurt, I'm going to go and sit with her" Vanessa cried as she left to sit with the love of her life.

It killed her seeing Charity attached to all these tubes just lying there lifeless. Vanessa knew she couldn't live without her these last few months had been hell being away from her. She should have just come home and worked things out and now she could be too late.

"Charity please wake up I can't live without you, I love you, I forgive you baby please don't die I need you the kids need you" Vanessa cried as she rested her head on Charity.


	2. Chapter 2

** Chapter 2 **

Vanessa hasn't left Charity's bedside Rhona tried to get her to go home but she couldn't leave her what if she woke up with no one there she didn't want her to feel alone ever again.

"Any change" Rhona asked as she handed Vanessa some coffee she knew there was no point trying to get her to leave.

"No it's been four days, Rhona the doctor said she was healing well the swellings gone she should be waking up why isn't she I can't lose her" Vanessa cried she would give anything to hear her voice again.

"Ness she'll wake up I know she will she's strong, well I better go the boys need to be picked up from school, don't worry they can stay with me until everything's ok I don't want you to have anymore worries" Rhona said as she hugged her best friend goodbye.

Noah still couldn't bring himself to see his mum he hated the last words he said to her what if she never wakes up he'll never be able to take the words back. He loves his mum it was always him and her against the world, he was angry with her for what she did to Vanessa breaking up there family he just wanted things to go back to how they were.

When Charity woke her head was spinning she found a sleeping lady by her side none of this was making any sense where was she. "Debbie" Charity cried wanting her daughter.

Vanessa woke to Charity calling for Debbie she's never felt so happy to hear her voice she was awake finally, on instinct she hugged the love of her life as she let the tears stream down her face.

"Where's Debbie" Charity broke out what was going on.

"She's on her way I spoke to her last night. I love you so much please don't leave me again" Vanessa cried as she held her.

"What is going on who are you" Charity asked not wanting to hurt the lady, was she another lady my dad had playing mum.

"I'm you fiancé Vanessa, I'm going to get the doctor" Vanessa cried the head injury has caused Charity to be confused.

Fiancé what was going on where was Cain he promised he'd never leave her. Where was her dad this was making her head spin she needed to close her eyes again make this all go away.

When Vanessa came back in the room with the doctor Charity was asleep again she really didn't know what to do something was wrong.

"Ms Dingle, are you awake" Dr Michaels asked from what Vanessa said it sounded like she has some sort of amnesia due to the brain injury.

"Doctor where's Debbie" Charity cried she just wanted her daughter.

"Ms Dingle what's the last thing you remember" Dr Michaels asked not wanting to upset her anymore.

"My baby where is she please don't take my baby" Charity cried.

"No one is going to take your baby, please try and stay calm, I'm just going to ask you some questions to establish some things. What year is this" Dr Michaels asked.

"This is stupid its 1989 I've just had Debbie please don't tell me my dad took her, where is Cain. Who are you" Charity asked the blonde woman from earlier.

"She doesn't remember, what is going on" Vanessa cried it broke her seeing Charity like this it's as if she's a child.

"Debbie where is Debbie I want my daughter Cain, Cain, Debbie give me my baby" Charity yelled as she tried to get up.

"Ms Dingle I'm just going to give you something to relax you've been through a lot in the last few days" Dr Michaels sad as he sedated her again he didn't want her to go into meltdown she needed to rest.

"Doctor what's happening" Vanessa asked she's never felt so scared in all her life.

"From what I can see she has a severe case of amnesia I don't know why it would go that far back but I'm going to run some tests. We just need to keep her calm is her daughter on her way that may help" Dr Michaels asked he needed to see a brain specialist to come and see her.

Vanessa didn't really know what to do how was they going to get through this she couldn't remember their life together or her children other than Debbie. As much as it hurt she couldn't leave her so she went back to sit by her side even if Charity pushed her away she needed to be there.

"Vanessa how is she" Chas asked as she came in the room.

"Its not good Chas she's lost her memory she doesn't know who I am. She was screaming for Debbie the doctor had to sedate her again. I really don't know what to do" Vanessa broke down as Chas held her.

"It's ok it's all going to be ok we'll get her through this Debbie should be here soon. She'll get her memory back she loves you. What does she remember" Chas asked worried about her cousin.

"She thinks it's 1989 that's the year she had Debbie, I think she thinks she's just given birth" Vanessa cried how was she going to get through this Charity was the strong one.

"Wow ok, this will be temporary it's like she cut out all the bad stuff that happened to her after Debbie was born. Up until you came along and saved her she always thought her life was hell and it all went downhill from the day her dad took Debbie. You saved her Vanessa she changed because she loved you and yes she screws up sometimes but you made her the Charity she is now. Please don't give up on her she's in there we just have to get her back" Chas said as she held her she knew they belonged together anyone could see it.

"I can't lose her Chas I should have just come home and spoke to her, I was stupid to think it was more than what it was" Vanessa cried.

"This isn't your fault, Charity messed up she knew that that's why she acted the way she did, the alcohol just messed with her emotions she did what she always did when things got too hard. I've been there with her, your all she ever talked about she missed you like crazy and when she lost Johnny it was like she truly lost it all she loves that boy" Chas said trying to make Vanessa see what things have been like.

Charity's been awake listening to them speak for the last few minutes she didn't want to interrupt their conversation. None of this made any sense she couldn't understand what was going on it was clear the blonde loved her.

"Mom, Vanessa please tell me she's ok" Debbie cried as she rushed in the room.

"Debbie thank god you're here, she has amnesia" Vanessa cried as she hugged her.

"Debbie" Charity broke out as she opened her eyes.

"Mum" Debbie cried as she rushed over to her mum she's never been so scared when Vanessa called her she rushed here as fast as she could her mum needed her.

"What is going on where is my baby where's Cain" Charity asked she was so confused her head hurt she just wanted her baby.

“Mum I spoke to Dad he’s going to come by later he’s really worried about you he’s with the kids right now” Debbie said not wanting to scare her mum.

“Sorry but who are you what is going on I just want Debbie” Charity cried she didn’t mean to sound so rude but this was just getting stranger and stranger.

“Mum it’s me Debbie, you were in an accident and its made you forget somethings, I’m here now mum its all going to be ok” Debbie explained not wanting her to freak out again.

“Ok so how old am I” Charity asked she couldn’t explain it but she knew this girl was telling the truth she felt a connection.

“Mum its 2020 your 44” Debbie said gingerly not wanting her mom to freak out.

“44 no way that’s so old, so you know about my life then is me and your dad still together you said he was looking after the kids how many do we have” Charity asked it felt nice knowing her and Cain made it.

“Oh no mum you’re not with Dad, you’re getting married to Vanessa, and you have 4 other kids Ryan, Noah, Moses and Johnny” Debbie didn’t know if she was supposed to tell her but her mum needed to know.

“Your Vanessa you love me” Charity asked none of this was making any sense this wasn’t the life she envisioned.

“With all my heart I do and so do the kids your loved Charity Dingle” Vanessa said as she made her way over to them.

“Can I get some rest now this is a lot to take in” Charity asked her head was pounding the last thing she remembered was holding Debbie this was just too much for her.


	3. chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Charity’s been home just over a week now and things were awkward with everyone, she didn’t really know what to do not that she could do much with her leg. She asked about her dad but no one would tell her anything other than he wasn’t in their lives, she thought it’s because she’s a lesbian she can’t imagine that would have gone down well with her dad.

“Mummy Charity” Johnny yelled as he jumped into her arms.

“Charity I’m sorry, Johnny what did I tell you, mummy Charity’s not feeling well” Vanessa said as she walked into the room.

“Honestly its ok, Johnny did you enjoy being with grandma” Charity asked remembering where Vanessa said he was.

“Yeah, I missed you I made you a card to get better” Johnny smiled as he handed her the card.

“Wow this is amazing thanks so much Johnny bob” Charity smiled as she kissed his cheek.

“You, you called him Johnny bob, how did you know” Vanessa asked as tears streamed down her face was she remembering.

“Am I not supposed to, that’s what it says in the card, I didn’t mean to make you upset” Charity sighed she could never get anything right no wonder her dad had wanted nothing to do with her.

“Oh no please don’t apologise of course you call him Johnny bob, I just thought you were remembering. Please forget I said anything” Vanessa said as she sat down she wanted to pull Charity in her arms and never let go but she knew Charity wasn’t ready for that.

“Mummy Charity can we watch a movie” Johnny asked hoping they could he’s missed her.

“Of course we can, Moses should be home soon we can all watch one together if you’d like to Vanessa” Charity asked she didn’t want her feeling left out she’s really been there for her since this whole ordeal.

“I’d love too” Vanessa smiled she knew in this moment they were going to be ok she just had to give it time like the doctor said she would start to remember in her own time.

Noah found it too hard to be at home right now, his mum not really knowing who he is hurts, he’s spending most of his time with Samson at Uncle Zac’s place. He wanted to be there to help Vanessa he felt bad just leaving her to it all but all this was just too much for him.

“Noah you need to go home, your mum thinks you hate her. I know things are strange right now but you can’t keep avoiding her” Cain said as he sat down.

“I don’t hate her, I just can’t see her like that” Noah sighed as he placed the controller on the table.

“No one likes this, when Debbie and I were there earlier she asked if she was horrible mum as you’d barely said two words to her and you keep avoiding her. Your mum may have lost her memory but she’ll get it back she’s broken right now and I’m sure she could do with having you around it may even help bring back some of her memories” Cain said not wanting to upset him but he couldn’t keep hiding.

“Ok I’ll go home, Samson I’ll be over tomorrow,” Noah said as he got up to leave he needed to be there for his mum.

When he got home he found his mum curled up on the couch with Moses and Johnny either side of her and Vanessa, “any room for me” Noah asked as they all moved to allow him space to squeeze in.

As she wrapped Noah in her arms she felt a sense of da ja vu it’s the first time she felt like a real mum. She may not remember right now but this is where she’s supposed to be.

The next day Charity had an appointment with the psychiatrist to try and help her remember to talk about things. Charity wanted to remember she needed to it hurt not remembering her family and the life she’s led.

“Ms Dingle following on from are last appointment have you had any progress in getting you memory back” Dr Rose asked she didn’t want her getting distressed and walking out again.

“No nothing I can sense I’m where I’m supposed to be, I have an amazing family I just wish I could remember” Charity cried her headaches have gone now so why wasn’t her memories back.

“It takes time, your brain just has to heal itself you’ll get flashes coming back when something triggers a memory when it happens try and stay calm” Dr Rose said hoping Charity listened she felt bad about the pain she was going through.

Vanessa felt bad about letting Charity go to the hospital on her own but the psychiatrist said it would be a good idea that way Charity couldn’t run from this. These last few weeks have really taken a toll on Vanessa, between Charity adopting Johnny, then the whole Charity kissing that guy, to the accident Tracy was right she needed to talk to someone but right now Charity needed her.

“Hey Vanessa she back yet” Chas asked as she sat down she felt bad pushing her problems on Charity and Vanessa right now with her marriage problems.

“No, Debbie’s going to bring her back I don’t know how Charity’s going to handle Debbie going back home tomorrow. I just wish this wasn’t happening I should have just come home and spoke to Charity about what happened, then none of this would have happened. I’m still really angry about what happened with that guy. I know now it meant nothing I heard her messages. She needs me Chas I don’t think I’m strong enough to handle this what if she never remembers” Vanessa cried she didn’t mean to blurt everything out but she’s been bottling it all up.

“Hey come here everything is going to be ok” Chas said as she hugged her.

“Chas why has her memory gone back so far she doesn’t even remember the boys I couldn’t imagine what that’s like to not remember your kids” Vanessa cried she couldn’t imagine not knowing who Johnny was.

“I’ve been thinking about this remember a couple of days after she had Debbie when her dad took her away from her and kicked her out that changed her made her the person that she wasn’t proud of the person who did scams and was never really on the right side of the law. You brought out the real Charity, before all the bad stuff happened you loved her despite all the terrible things she done. You helped her through all that stuff that happened to her all those years ago, you stood by her like no one ever has. You loved her through it she loves you more than anything in the world. When she hurt you she didn’t mean to she was hurting and reacted in the way she always did. I think her brain is trying to rewrite her story so she can forget all the terrible things she’s done and all the terrible things that happened.” Chas said it’s the only explanation she can come up with Charity had said on numerous occasions that she wished she could change things. 

“I don’t want her to change Chas I love her just the way she is, when she lets you into her heart you see the amazing wonderful person she is. It killed me being apart from her, I never handled this well I should have just spoke to her let her know what was going on. I drove her to that point with that guy and I then broke her. I broke her Chas and I know Tracy didn’t help with the things she was telling me but I was hurt I couldn’t believe she could kiss that guy we were getting married she shouldn’t have been able to do that. But I realise now she was just reacting like she always does when she thinks she’s lost everything. I drove her to this she was drinking herself into oblivion and I made it worse by taking Johnny away too. I should have just come home and spoke to her and listened to what she was going through. I don’t know what I’ll do if she never remembers I can’t lose her again we can’t live without each other I know that now Chas and I fear I’m too late” Vanessa cried its like she was bearing her soul it was like a weight lifted.

“It’s never too late, this isn’t your fault Vanessa accidents happen, Charity is still in there and she’ll come back. She can’t live without you I’ve never seen her so broken when you broke up with her it’s like she died inside she couldn’t believe she had been so stupid you’re her world. The love you two have people dream about you belong together memories or no memories anyone can see that” Chas said as she held her.

Charity stood there listening to them she couldn’t interrupt she knew how much she was loved she wished she could remember the life she had with Vanessa and the kids. Vanessa was standing by her even though she hurt her that was love she couldn’t understand how she could do that to the love of her life she really needed to bring this up with her psychiatrist in her next appointment.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

It’s been a couple of weeks now since the accident and little things were starting to come back to Charity she still couldn’t remember her life with Vanessa and she really wanted to. Her psychiatrist said it will take time her brain was just trying to catch up but it was good she was getting little flashes of her life.

After Debbie went home it hurt not seeing her daughter but she had Vanessa and the boys even if things were strange she was trying to make this work and she hoped at some point she will get her memories back.

Vanessa has gone back to work with what was going on with Paddy someone had to run the clinic or they would lose their business she still couldn’t believe Paddy cheated on Chas with Mandy not after what they went through.

“Vanessa I was wondering if it be ok if I stayed at Samson’s tonight the new fifa has come out and as tomorrow the weekend we wanted to stay up playing ultimate team. I’ve done my homework and my chores” Noah asked hoping he could he couldn’t really ask his mum she was still struggling with her memory and he didn’t want to add any more pressure on her.

“Ok as it’s a weekend I don’t see an issue thanks for asking me” Vanessa said she loved Noah like he was her son and she knew it took a lot for him to trust her she was happy things were still the same it must have hurt him to her being gone.

“Thanks Vanessa, I’m so happy your back home hopefully it won’t be long before mum remembers” Noah said as he hugged her, she was like a second mum to him and he loved her.

Charity spent the morning with Johnny and Moses she loved those little boys Johnny was much quieter than Moses she could tell he took after his mum while Moses reminded her of herself he was very outgoing and cheeky. After taking them to the park they snuggled up on the couch watching cartoons.

“Mummy Charity can we stay here all day” Johnny asked as Charity handed him a sandwich.

“Aunty Tracy’s coming over soon to take you and your brother for the afternoon until mummy finishes work. But tomorrow were going to spend the whole day together” Charity explained to the small boy she didn’t want him to be upset.

“Ok mummy Charity, love you” Johnny said as he hugged her.

“Love you too Johnny bob, you too Moses” Charity smiled as she hugged her boys.

Things felt strange around Tracy from what she heard Tracy was angry at her for hurting her sister and also angry at herself for the way she acted. She felt the need to apologise even though she couldn’t remember what she’s done she couldn’t blame Tracy for protecting her sister.

“Hi Charity, boys you ready to go” Tracy asked as she came through the door.

“Boys can you go upstairs for five minutes while I speak to Tracy” Charity asked as they darted upstairs.

“Charity it’s ok Nate’s waiting” Tracy said not really wanting to have this conversation she felt bad for what she’d done.

“Please Tracy, I just want to say sorry, I may not remember what happened but I know I hurt your sister and for that I’m sorry I may not know what really happened but it shouldn’t have happened and I don’t blame you, you was looking after your sister and trying to protect her. I don’t want things to be awkward between us” Charity said hoping they could be friends she knew it hurt Vanessa Tracy staying away.

“Charity I’m the one who’s sorry, I saw how much you was missing Vanessa I saw you was a mess I should have come and spoken to you before running to Vanessa but I wasn’t thinking straight. I knew that what you did would wreck her and I didn’t want my sister to hurt but I hurt her anyway and I wrecked your life. I saw the pain you was in when she broke up with you, you turned to alcohol you was a mess and I should have told Vanessa to come home and speak to you not make it worse I’m sorry I screwed up which lead you to being run over” Tracy said she felt really bad about what she did.

“Tracy this isn’t your fault and I’m sure if I had my memories right now I wouldn’t have blamed you I hurt your sister and you were protecting her, and I know I may not remember my life right now but I promise you I won’t hurt your sister. That’s the last thing I’d ever want to do” Charity said she may not remember but she knows this thing with Vanessa is real she can feel it in her soul.

After leaving the vets, Vanessa went to the woolpack to see Charity she really missed her today it felt strange not seeing her. Even though Charity didn’t remember their life together they spoke about everything and Chas was right even if Charity never got her memory back they could work things out because they loved each other and that connection was still there. 

Charity was back working at the pub she couldn’t leave everything to Chas and her doctor thought it be a good idea to resume her life before all of this happened. Chas was going through a bad break up and she wanted to be there for her cousin like she’s been there for her since the accident.

“Charity, are you in here” Vanessa asked as she went down into the cellar when she couldn’t see her at the bar she grew worried.

“Yeah just changing the barrel,” Charity said as she turned towards Vanessa something clicked in her brain it was like a flash of yellow it was their first kiss she could feel it.

“Wow you ok” Vanessa asked as Charity stumbled grabbing her head.

“Yeah I just remembered something tiny blonde rocket women” Charity smiled it was something small but it felt like everything she remembered Vanessa and that meant a lot to her.

“You remember me” Vanessa cried as she pulled Charity into her arms.

“I’m pretty sure our first kiss was right there I saw a flash of yellow, what was with the cape and mask” Charity asked that bit didn’t make sense.

“It was a wake for Finn we all wore outfits except you, you were running the bar. We got locked down here and after a lot of alcohol you kissed me” Vanessa cried, she’s never been so happy in her life she couldn’t stop the smile on her face Charity remembered their first kiss the start of their life together.

“Maybe we should try kissing again see if anything else comes back” Charity asked she felt the need to be close to Vanessa there was a love there she could feel it in her soul.

Vanessa didn’t even need to think about it she leaned up to Charity and kissed her like her life depended on it after so long it felt right being in her arms again.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

It’s been a week now since their moment in the cellar, Charity hadn’t gained any more memories back, her doctor said it will take time she had to be patient. Vanessa has been amazing she’s been her rock through all of this and it must be hard on her not having the woman you love remember the life you’ve had. 

“You ready” Vanessa asked as she came in their bedroom.

“Yeah, I can’t wait for this to be off” Charity said as she stepped towards Vanessa.

“So tonight I was thinking we could go out have a night to ourselves, Tracy said she’ll watch the boys. I mean we can stay here and do something if you’re not ready” Vanessa nervously rambled on even though they’ve kissed a lot in the last week she didn’t really know what their relationship was right now.

“I’d love to, you’re so cute” Charity smiled as she leaned down to kiss her.

Vanessa hated pulling away but they had to get to the hospital but if she could she’d stay in her arms all day. “Come on lets go, I’ll kiss you later” Vanessa smiled.

“Ok, I’m holding you to that” Charity smiled as she took her hand she couldn’t wait to get the boot off her leg.

After leaving the hospital, they decided to take a walk over by the old canal Charity remembered walking here a lot when Sarah was in hospital. She could only remember little things from her life most of it was before Vanessa came into her life but her psychiatrist told her it was good she was getting glimpses back it meant her brain was healing she just had to give it time.

“This is nice we should come here more often” Vanessa smiled as she held Charity’s hand as they walked along the side of the water.

“I can remember coming here when Sarah was sick used to help me clear my head. There’s a nice fish and chip shop if you’re hungry” Charity asked as her tummy rumbled.

“I could eat and I hear you can too” Vanessa laughed as Charity went bright red.

“Very funny, it’s not my fault we missed breakfast and they kept us waiting forever to get that stupid thing of my leg no wonder I’m hungry” Charity pouted.

“Your so cute good thing I love you” Vanessa smiled as she kissed her.

As they say down to eat Charity kept trying to remember something in the short time she’s been around Vanessa she knew she loved her and she wanted more than anything to be the woman Vanessa wanted.

“What you thinking about” Vanessa asked Charity had been staring blankly for the last few minutes.

“Can you tell me about us” Charity asked hoping she would.

“Charity you know what the doctor said you have to remember I can’t blur your memory. Instead of dwelling on the past we could make new memories. I love you Charity and I would never do anything to hurt you as much as I want you to know I have to do what the doctor said” Vanessa said as she took Charity’s hand.

“I love you too, I know I do I can feel it in here I may not really remember our life but I feel like this, us that’s real its forever” Charity said as she placed Vanessa’s hand on her heart.

“You love me” Vanessa cried as she pulled Charity into her arms and kissed her with all the love she felt for this woman.

When they arrived home Charity had to sit down her leg was starting to hurt from all the walking when the doctor suggested light exercise I don’t think he meant walking by the canal for hours. Charity felt the pain was worth it to have Vanessa to herself for hours was just what she needed, as much as she wanted to have her memories back Vanessa was right it was time for them to make new ones. Her and their boys that’s all she needed nothing else mattered.

“So I was thinking you must be exhausted from earlier so I thought a night in watching a movie we could order pizza. Unless you still want to go out the restaurants still booked” Vanessa rambled on as Charity kissed her.

“Pizza and a movie sounds perfect” Charity smiled as she pulled her lips away she needed to do something to stop Vanessa rambling on she was so cute.

When Noah returned home he found his mum asleep on the couch snuggled up to Vanessa it felt like old times they were so cute he knew things were going to be ok he was happy Vanessa was back in their lives he knew how much his mum missed her while she was away. His mum would get her memory back and things will be good again.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Everything was planned Debbie has come home to be there for her mum. Noah and Sarah helped Tracy get the barn ready now all that was left was to get Vanessa there and for everything to go the way Charity wanted it too. Even though her memories weren’t back Charity loved Vanessa more than anything and these past six months have been the best months of her life and she wanted to spend the rest of her life with Vanessa and their boys.

“What is going on” Vanessa asked as she entered the barn she wasn’t expecting this when Tracy insisted she come.

“You’re a bit earlier than planned but that doesn’t matter, I love you Vanessa and I wanted to show you how much I love you, will you marry me here today in front of our friends and family” Charity asked as she got down on one knee.

“I’ve got the dress” Tracy yelled as she ran in the barn not expecting her sister to be there yet.

“So what do you say Ness” Charity asked after minutes of silence.

“I, I can’t this isn’t right” Vanessa cried as she saw the heartbreak spread across the love of her life’s face.

“I thought you wanted to marry me” Charity asked as she got up tears streaming down her face.

“I do but not like this, it’s not right you don’t have your memory back, you barely remember me” Vanessa broke out she hated hurting her but this wasn’t the way things were supposed to be.

“Ness I could never get my memory back, so you’re saying you never want to marry me. I thought you loved me. I may not have many memories of our past before the accident. But I remember everything we’ve shared in the last six months. I fell in love with you all over again, you, me and the boys we’re a family. It doesn’t matter to me if I never get my memories back I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you” Charity cried she’s never experienced pain like this.

“I love you, I love you I do, I want to spend the rest of my life with you but we can’t do this not right now. What if your memory comes back and you regret this” Vanessa asked so much was running through her brain right now she knew in her heart this wasn’t right.

“I’d never regret us ever, I, I’m going to go” Charity cried as she took off it hurt too much to be there right now how could she not want to marry her this hurt more than anything.

“Vee what are you doing this isn’t you, you love her” Tracy asked none of this made any sense.

“Tracy leave it please I have to go after her” Vanessa said as she went after Charity.

After leaving, Charity drove back into the village thankfully there was no one around to see the pain she was going through, she went into the woolpack and grabbed a bottle of whiskey she needed to numb this pain.

It’s been a couple of hours since Vanessa has seen Charity and there was still no sign of her, Vanessa hated the way things ended she was just trying to be honest. It kills her the pain she’s caused but she couldn’t marry her not yet it wouldn’t be right.

As Vanessa was walking around the village, she found Charity passed out on the bench in the gazebo this was all her fault if anything happened she wouldn’t be able to forgive her self.

“Charity, wake up” Vanessa cried as she held her.

“You’re, you’re home” Charity slurred everything was a blur.

“Come on let’s get you home” Vanessa sighed as she tried to help Charity up.

“I love you please don’t leave me again” Charity cried as she fell to the ground this drinking had to stop she couldn’t keep doing this.

“Tracy, Nate, help me please we need to get Charity home” Vanessa yelled as she saw them walking down the road.

Thankfully, Nate’s a big strong lad he managed to scoop Charity in his arms and carry her home. She was completely out of it and would need caring for tomorrow with the amount of alcohol she’s consumed.

Vanessa laid next to her passed out on their bed, she felt so bad because Charity was right even if she never got her memories back Vanessa knew she would still love her and want to be with her, she was her world with or without her memories. They’re made for each other they belong together everyone knows it. She should have married her today it’s something she’s wanted for so long how could she have been so stupid.

“I love you I’m sorry” Vanessa whispered in her ear as she pulled Charity into her arms.

When Charity woke up her head was pounding then she realised she was wrapped in someone’s arms this doesn’t make any sense she needed to see who it was so she slowly turned and found the love of her life she’s never felt so relieved she couldn’t imagine hurting her again.

“Morning” Vanessa mumbled as she felt Charity stir waking her up.

“I love you, I love you so much please don’t ever leave me again” Charity begged she couldn’t live without Vanessa she was her world.

“I’m not going anywhere, I’m sorry about yesterday it doesn’t matter to me if you never get your memories back. I love you I want to spend my life with you let’s just go and get married we can do something special with the family later I don’t want to go another day without you being my wife” Vanessa cried hoping she would after what she put her through yesterday she wouldn’t blame her if she said no.

That’s when everything that’s been happening the last six months hit her, the accident, her memory loss, the non wedding yesterday and Vanessa being here right now. She did the only thing she could think of right now and kissed her it felt like a lifetime since they were last like this.

“Wow, is that a yes” Vanessa asked as she pulled away she’d never had a kiss like that in all her life.

“I remember, I remember you, I remember everything it’s like someone turned on the switch. It’s like the accident just happened when I woke up I was shocked to find myself in your arms not after what I did. Then I remembered my memory loss and everything that happened these last six months” Charity cried as Vanessa hugged her.

“You remember me” Vanessa cried still not quite believing this.

“I do, I need to explain what happened, I need you to forgive me it kills me the pain I caused you I should never have kissed that guy but I want you to know it meant nothing. I was a mess I thought you didn’t want to be with me anymore and I can’t even explain how it happened I hate myself for what I done I don’t deserve you” Charity cried.

“It doesn’t matter not anymore I forgive you, I forgave you months ago I knew how much you were missing me I should have come home. I never should have left you the way I did. I heard all your messages on the way to the hospital. I knew you regretted it, I knew it was a stupid mistake. I love you Charity and these last six months have been hard with you not remembering but the love was still there, even when you didn’t remember you still loved me” Vanessa cried she just wanted them to move on from the mistake she didn’t want her hurting herself any more.

“I love you more than anything let’s get married just you and me I don’t want to wait anymore, we belong together and I want to be your wife more than I’ve wanted anything in my life” Charity asked hoping she’d say yes.

“Of course I’ll marry you” Vanessa smiled as she kissed her.

When they got to the registry office, they needed witness they knew they couldn’t ring family because they’ll be mad they’re doing it this way. Therefore, Charity asked two random people that were walking past and thankfully they said yes.

“Shall we” Charity asked wanting to make sure this was still something Vanessa wanted.

“We shall” as she took her fiancé’s arm.

“Ness if you want the big wedding we can do that I don’t want you to regret this” Charity said as they approached the registrar.

“I don’t want the big wedding I just want you to be mine. We can do the big wedding at a later date I don’t want to go one more second without calling you my wife” Vanessa smiled reassuring the love of her life this is what she wants.

“I love you, I love you so much our family are going to kill us but it will be worth it to call you my wife” Charity smiled as she kissed her.

The time came for their vows Charity couldn’t hide the smile on her face she’s waited so long for this day even though she’s been married before it wasn’t love with them not really she knew this time it’s forever she loves Vanessa with every fibre of her being.

“Ness before we got together I was a mess I’d been broken for so long I wasn’t the best person to be around. But you made me realise I was worthy of love you stood by me through everything. I know sometimes I can be an idiot and do stupid things and I can’t promise that’s going to change but one thing I can promise you. I will love you for all time, we’re meant for each other and I will show you how much I love you everyday for the rest of our lives because what we have is forever because I can’t live without you. Tiny blonde rocket woman” Charity smiled as she winked at the woman who became her world.

“How do I top that, Charity I love you every version of you. I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love you we’re meant for each other. I will love you till the end of time, there’s no me without you because I can’t live without you either” Vanessa smiled as Charity wiped a tear from her eyes.

“I, Charity take you, Vanessa to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part” Charity smiled as she placed the ring on her hand.

“I, Vanessa, take you Charity, to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honour you all the days of my life” Vanessa smiled as she places the ring on her hand she couldn’t believe this day had finally come she was now married and she couldn’t be happier.

“I now pronounce you married you may kiss the brides” the registrar proclaimed as they kissed.

When they arrived home they had the place to themselves on the way home Charity asked Debbie if she would watch the kids so her and Vanessa could spend sometime together. They both decided not to mention they’re married just yet not wanting the drama for eloping. 

“So no regrets Mrs Dingle” Charity asked as they walked through the door of their home.

“No I love you, today was perfect. I can’t believe we’re finally married” Vanessa smiled as they sat down on the couch.

“I love you too, today was perfect” Charity smiled as she kissed her.


End file.
